You can't have it all

But you can have crystal eyes that go from green to blue, to yellow like a childs kaleidoscope. You can have a father whom wakes you up at five a.m just to say I love you, and a young bridling that will constantly say hello all night, and a pang of regret for teaching him. You can have a place you call home, where makeup is tossed around, dresses for each occasion, and the smell of burnt hair pervades the room from making the flat iron too hot. You can have the warm feeling where you cannot stop smiling, no matter how much you try, as butterfly’s fill your stomach. The boy you have liked for months finally ask you out, you cant stop smiling, giggling and hugging everyone as tight as you can just to let out excitement You can have the crowd going wild for your cheer squad waiting to see five year-old girls do things no twenty year-old could ever do. and you worry...if you fall from the top of the pyramid right before your flip from the top, to the floor. You can have your mom asking you for your social security number but no one bothers to ask why because we all know what its for... A big sister running your house like the queen you would think... i hate her, because she asks for so much but i love her, i look up to her The pain as you are looking for her graduation gift, You can question yourself... whose going to run the house? whose going to stop the fighting late at night? whose going to tell me the truth, if my new dress makes me look chubby? You can be frightened, scream out-loud in a scary movie needing someones comfort. You can feel the cold tears run down your face when your parents tell you they are separating, and then only a year later, when your two big sisters tell you they are moving back to Florida to live with my dad, leaving my little sister and I, alone, leaving me responsible. I'm not ready. But the ones thats there for you Is A best friend you trust you tell all your secrets to someone you care about like a sister, like a part of your family. You can have a mom who calls you girly and a dad who calls you Pumpkin. You can hold a new born in your arms like a glass, fragile vause you guard with your life, welcoming the baby to your family. people calling you a dumb blond but you learn to get used to it you learn to be proud, of who you are, not to care what people think of you. walking down the street and hearing whistles, yelling "eyy mami!" you walk right past them. You can grow up in a family where vegetables is your favorite food, where you don't know what gushers are until your eight.